still super stressed. got the internship so im running around trying to get everything so i can be cleared and actually start. doctor's on tues, for vaccines, i have a phobia of needles...this isn't going to go well haha
trying to get everything organized school wise, get back into the routine. been eating like shit lately cause ive been forced to eat with my family. there's only so much i can do around them...and been soooo busy havn't been able to go to the gym. im pretty sure im back to my starting weight. i feel so fat and like shit.
excited because im taking a fitness evaluation class, where we learn how to evaluate people's level of fitness. were going to learn how to take all sorts of measurements so ill know for sure where i stand in all aspects.
hung out with R, drinking, ended up talking bout M. this was new and a little awkward. since ive met him, in july, the two of us never talked about him. They are beeest friends so he tells her everything. i didn't want to put her in the middle. She's so upset about what happened. she hates his 'ex'gf and is so pissed that he continues to try to fix things. she tried to make me understand that its so fucked up, but no matter how much everyone complains, HE needs to realize it and stop.....then she said something which was surprisingly comforting. she said, 'its not you. there's nothing wrong with you. hes a lame ass whose going thru shit with her. you did nothing wrong, he had never said anything negative about you, but talks shit about her all the time' i didn't realize how much that made me feel better. the normal female response to everything that happened is, what did i do wrong. i did nothing wrong, i didn't fuck this up!
i miss him so much. i hate not being to talk to him. i just want to be happy again....
trying to get everything organized school wise, get back into the routine. been eating like shit lately cause ive been forced to eat with my family. there's only so much i can do around them...and been soooo busy havn't been able to go to the gym. im pretty sure im back to my starting weight. i feel so fat and like shit.
excited because im taking a fitness evaluation class, where we learn how to evaluate people's level of fitness. were going to learn how to take all sorts of measurements so ill know for sure where i stand in all aspects.
hung out with R, drinking, ended up talking bout M. this was new and a little awkward. since ive met him, in july, the two of us never talked about him. They are beeest friends so he tells her everything. i didn't want to put her in the middle. She's so upset about what happened. she hates his 'ex'gf and is so pissed that he continues to try to fix things. she tried to make me understand that its so fucked up, but no matter how much everyone complains, HE needs to realize it and stop.....then she said something which was surprisingly comforting. she said, 'its not you. there's nothing wrong with you. hes a lame ass whose going thru shit with her. you did nothing wrong, he had never said anything negative about you, but talks shit about her all the time' i didn't realize how much that made me feel better. the normal female response to everything that happened is, what did i do wrong. i did nothing wrong, i didn't fuck this up!
i miss him so much. i hate not being to talk to him. i just want to be happy again....
Gorgeous thinspo :) Good luck with your vaccines! I know needles can be horrid! Just look away and think of something else :) It's hard to get back into routine :( Just take it one thing at a time :) xx
ReplyDeletelovely pictures, hope you're doing well. Chin up, all things get better with time.
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