jumping to conclusions

doing better. still not okay, but better. can't stop thinking about him....just sucks. it hurts so much.

schools about to start, getting ready with that and dealing with that stress.
still need to figure out where im doing my internship at since the one i am at wont count for school...retarded.

got off of work early yesterday so i came home and smoked some weed. i wanted to take a nap, but to my luck my dad got off work early too. of course i wasn't okay and he flipped out. now he thinks i do hard core drugs and get wasted all the time. he prob also thinks im a slut and full of diseases. i get that lecture every time i stay over at a friends house...then i didn't 'eat enough' of the mashed potatoes so hes all upset cause im clearly anorexic too. i didnt want the fucking potatoes anyway, but i took a spoon full for show. arrrrgh

and my sister moved back home. her roommate got pregnant and became crazy so shes back home. which means the yelling is bad again. people are crying. my mom hates how close my dad and i are. which is actually funny, because ever since he found out im on meds (like in sept) we havnt been that close. he keeps saying hes worried about me, but on my end hes become controlling, mean, and not my best friend who i talk to like before.....

americas next top model marathon, not a huge fan but nothing better on tv...plus some good thinspiration lol