im finally cleared to work at the hospital, now just figuring out when ill actually be working. schools starting to pick up with homework and stuff. finally was able to go to the gym, couldnt motivate myself to do cardio after i did weights. im so weak. so fat. such a fuck up.
i was suppose to hang out with people, they were excited too. came up with some lame excuse. i knew if i went out we would drink and eat. cant do that rite now. sats a friends 21st so there will be plenty of that later. managed to get away with only having tea, crangrape juice, and a banana today. trying to stay strong now that im home. wish i was at the gym. esps since my parents are just fighting in the next room.
ive been doing well during the day to not think about M. nite time is what kills. its like the only thing i can think about, and its the only dreams i have. i hate this.
need to get the gym back in my schedule. i have pillsbury dough girl syndrome. squishy and i look like im pregnant. im so fat and ugly. why would he ever think about me.
i was suppose to hang out with people, they were excited too. came up with some lame excuse. i knew if i went out we would drink and eat. cant do that rite now. sats a friends 21st so there will be plenty of that later. managed to get away with only having tea, crangrape juice, and a banana today. trying to stay strong now that im home. wish i was at the gym. esps since my parents are just fighting in the next room.
ive been doing well during the day to not think about M. nite time is what kills. its like the only thing i can think about, and its the only dreams i have. i hate this.
need to get the gym back in my schedule. i have pillsbury dough girl syndrome. squishy and i look like im pregnant. im so fat and ugly. why would he ever think about me.
Night time is always horrible, it's the worst time of day >< Glad your working now :) This should keep your mind busy!! And i know what you mean about avoiding social situations >< I do that too, your not alone, but soon we will be strong enough to go out xx
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