Wednesday, March 14, 2012

just get thru today

for three days i was happy
for three days i had everything under control
for three days everything went smoothly
for three days i looked skinny

i dont know what the scale read because i wasn't weighing myself. i was lying in bed and i was running my fingers over my ribs and hips, and i could feel them. not just feel them, but feel the edges of them. in the mirror i could see them!! i was soooo happy. the following three days were amazing. then everything went down hill. unnecessary drama. boy shit. girl shit. ex best friend, best friends again. parents flipping out. depression getting worse. too much to figure out in a short time. i then had the house all to myself for two days. i should have been productive. i slept. i literally slept more than half the day. when i was awake, i smoked till i couldnt. then i ate. i binged so bad. i regret it all, but at the time it was all i wanted to do. surprisingly the scale after the binge feast actually said a lost weight ????? down to 147. i dont know but the skinny girl in the mirror isnt there any more...

M is really doing well with ex. they went to maimi, camping, all this shit. fuck them.

as soon as i graduate i want to move. move somewhere south, atlanta, dallas, somewhere...










  

1 comment:

  1. At least you didn't gain! :D Be happy about that, a loss is a loss :) You'll get that skinny girl back in no time!! Just keep motivated and know you have so much support behind you <3

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